The Longshot: Rodin one to muse on for the Epsom Derby

THE FLAT racing season usually holds little appeal for me and neither does backing favourites, but that won’t stop me having a small bet on Auguste Rodin in the Derby tomorrow.

Aidan O’Brien’s 3/1 leader of the market finished a disappointing 12th (in a very slow race too) after being hampered early on when favourite for the 2000 Guineas at the beginning of May and drifted out to 10/1 for Epsom immediately afterwards.

He has since narrowed and is ahead of Godolphin’s Military Order on 9/2, who I know without even asking that me brother will have a few quid on. I am certain of this because he always backs a horse with a martial name, hence he was on Commander-in-Chief in 1993, albeit he was slightly too young to have anything on the fifth Derby winner Serjeant in 1794.

Despite that poor showing at Newmarket, Auguste Rodin’s Coolmore pedigree does seem more suited to 1m4f more than one mile and although he has never won on anything quicker than yielding ground (it’s good to firm tomorrow), nomenclature betting will still rule the way for me.

The reason? We have to go back into the mists of time all the way to the 1997 Examiner Schools Quiz semi-final, when the last question was put to me, the team captain and we were three points behind.

I’ll set the scene: If you conferred with teammates you only got two points, but answer yourself and get it right and you were awarded four.

‘Who sculpted The Thinker?’ the quizmaster put to me. We were on a stage and there was a big enough crowd. I stared off into the lights and, as I it, I rested my chin on my fist, although this is almost certainly a willed memory.

“Rodin,” I announced. A wild guess. If pushed, I’d have itted I thought he was a painter and I’d probably heard his name as answer before on Blackboard Jungle. But it was right and I led Midleton CBS into the final, where we were subsequently crushed by Ard Scoil Ris.

The ‘Rodin’ answer remains one of the most memorable moments of my life, if simply because what has followed since has been mostly dreadfully boring.

Back to the Ballydoyle sprinter named after the French artist: Coolmore have a tendency to name many of their best prospects after places around the world and historical figures, such as writers, leaders, artists and politicians.

But do you know the restrictions regarding horse names? We presume Adolf, Joseph, et al would be unacceptable, but the official rules only insist on someone being dead for less than 50 years, unless their written permission or the permission of their family is provided.

You might think you could get away with Usain Colt without his permission but names may not end with ‘colt”, ‘filly’, ‘stud’, “mare”, ‘stallion’ or any similar horse-related .

The name must not include suggestive, vulgar or obscene words and meanings and should not be in poor taste, although notable exceptions that have slipped through include Hoof Hearted, Mary Hinge, Geespot and Wear The Fox Hat, which was particularly troublesome for Irish commentators.

Names also cannot have more than 18 characters including spaces and punctuation, which is why Shutthefrontdoor, among others, had to make do without spaces and Youlneverwalkalone was so spelled (although Definitly Red and The Last Samuri remain a mystery!)

So anyway, in honour of the Derby we’ll bring back our top 10 feature, which literally no reader has claimed to have missed.

Here are the Top Ten names to horses I would choose if I could ever afford even a toenail of a nag.

Top Ten

• Knowntothegardaí 
• Flipflopflapperjak 
• Ice Melted 
• Death To All 
• Hoof Ain’t it 
• Plodding Along 
• CanterLope Express 
• Ye Long Trotski 
• Whywemisingletters 
• Neigh Chance

Summer is now with us

TWO occasions to really mark the traditional start of the summer this weekend — a Cork-Kerry clash down the Pá¡irc and an FA Cup final.

The Cork footballers carry the senior flag on for the Rebels after the hurlers’ departure last weekend.

The latter’s performances were very decent this year and many have mentioned it was cruel to see them exit at such an early stage. They did lose two games however, even if many decisions did go against them in the Gaelic Grounds. But contrast that to All-Ireland champs Kerry, who Cork could beat tomorrow and remain in the race for Sam.

The fixture evokes memories of the long walk down the marina as a wide-eyed youngster, innocent enough to once get caught out by a wily Dub selling chocolate bars for 30p or three for a pound. I walked away with an Aero, Mars and Twirl and was inside the ground before I realised I’d been had.

Cork will feel they have been had if they beat Kerry here and maybe have to face them again down the line. They are 13/2 and have a chance at that price if Kerry perform like they did against Mayo in Killarney.

Final curtain

WE have a another derby in the FA Cup final as United try to dent City’s attempt at the treble. They are 13/4 to lift the trophy and 11/2 to win the game in 90 minutes. A bit like the Cork-Kerry game, the huge rivalry should ensure that the game is competitive for a while at least, especially with City’s focus being naturally on the bigger game tomorrow week (although Inter Milan look less of a challenge at this distance).

The Codebreaker documentary showed the FA Cup in its pomp on RTÉ during the week, showing footage of the great Kevin Moran (who did seem to spend most of his career bleeding from his head) getting the first ever red card in a final for a tackle on Everton’s Peter Reid. This fixture now offers the chance of a bit of a throwback considering what is at stake for the cross-city rivals.

• Farewell to the Examiner Sports’ Martin Claffey, one of the best journalists to have sat on our desks for the past few decades. He started off with The Echo at just 19, when one of the jobs he inherited was motoring correspondent. The only issue was he couldn’t drive at the time! A great colleague and a fine fella who will be missed, and the next place is very lucky to have him.

Celtic face Caley treble threat to decide the headline act in Scottish cup final

WE ALSO have the Scottish Cup final this weekend as Celtic go in search of a treble. Standing in their way are Championship side Inverness Caledonian Thistle, who famously knocked the Hoops out of the competition in 2000, a 3-1 defeat that cost John Barnes his job at Parkhead. The Highlanders had only been formed six years previously and it remains one of the biggest shocks in British football history, which is down to a memorable headline as much as it is to a memorable result.

‘SUPER CALEY GO BALLISTIC CELTIC ARE ATROCIOUS’ typed in the sub-editor that fateful night, as he reached deep into his essence for some Dick van Dyke-like inspiration.

But it was stolen, not surprisingly by The Sun from the Liverpool Echo, which three decades earlier, reporting on a 1970s Ian Callaghan masterclass, ran: ‘SUPER CALLY GOES BALLISTIC, QPR ATROCIOUS.’ This prompted us on a trawl of the internet for the best sports headlines ever conceived in the brains of bored people on sports desks.

And to tell the truth, we didn’t come up with very much. I was expecting at least a few zingers, but instead found mostly bawdy puns and lurid plays-on-words. This shouldn’t really have surprised me after two decades sitting among to such people.

The ‘best’ selected for internet lists focus on the ribald almost at the expense of all else.

Swiss team Young Boys gets the risque treatment on many occasions, but when you think of it even for a moment, most of these examples are completely repulsive. Then there’s an unfortunate baseball player named Colon (who unfortunately often played against Alex ‘A-Rod’ Rodriguez).

‘Pat cashed and the Czech bounced’ is OK, I suppose, from the Aussie’s 1987 Wimbledon defeat of Ivan Lendl.

Racking my brain I can’t even think of a decent one I wrote myself.

The most famous sports headline isn’t even the ‘Caley’ one but rather ‘In Affectionate Remembrance of ENGLISH CRICKET’ in The Sporting Times in 1882. What followed underneath was a mock obituary: “Which died at the Oval on 29 August 1882, Deeply lamented by a large circle of sorrowing friends and acquaintances. RIP. NB The body will be cremated and the ashes taken to Australia.” This of course was the beginning of The Ashes, one of the longest sporting rivalries in history, which will reignite in a fortnight across the Irish Sea, with England the 5/4 favourite.

Back to the Bhoys and 2000 was an atrocious season for the club, which saw Henrik Larsson sidelined with a broken leg but further appropriate headline opportunities did at least abound when a Brazilian defender named Rafael Scheidt was signed over the turn of the century for just shy of £5m, and went on to become renowned as one of the worst transfers in football history.

Scheidt by name, Scheidt by nature, went most of the coverage, although Celtic mercifully put only his first name on the back of his jersey for his three appearances in three years at the club.

When Martin O’Neill took over he put it rather bluntly to the man who did also get three caps for Brazil: “I like footballers who are not like you. I like footballers who play well.” O’Neill improved Celtic’s fortunes of course, but he did manage them to another cup defeat to a Thistle side in the quarter-finals in 2003, just days after they beat Liverpool at Anfield in the UEFA Cup quarter-finals.

Inverness also shocked the Hoops in 2015, halting Ronny Deila’s side’s chance of treble then and going on to lift the trophy for the only ever time by beating Falkirk in the final.

The Highlanders are 18/1 to spring a similar surprise tomorrow evening.

The Bet

WE’LL keep it simple after a few lucrative weeks and go for Auguster Rodin at 3/1 for the Derby.