Will Fastorslow have the pace or can Champ gallop to another win?

NOW that Crufts and the Oscars are out of the way, we have our equine leading lights taking the stage this week.

We’ve run down through the reasons I am not a go-to guy for horse racing tips here before.

The trauma of being bitten by a nag as a teen. The trauma of backing those that didn’t run fast during my 20s.

Let’s not re-run through all that grief. Is it a mistake to type anything about the sport of mugs at all?

He who is down can fear no fall. I have never been the one to let my mental wounds and relative ignorance stand in the way of giving misguided advice. It’s my raison d’etre.

There hasn’t been much heading in my direction by word of mouth.

But I was ferrying a woman in my car at the weekend (my wife was in the same car, just to scotch any rumours) and she was telling us how she was supposed to be heading over on the Thursday with a friend, whose uncle had a horse running.

Fishing for a longshot in one of the less-heralded races, I was, when she said the horse was Martin Brassil’s Fastorslow, the 5/1 second favourite in the Gold Cup.

The Kildare trainer’s biggest career win was the Grand National back in 2006, when Numbersixvalverde was first home at Aintree.

A pal of mine is friendly with Shark Hanlon, so I’ve always taken an interest in King George winner (20/1) Hewick’s races.

And 33/1 shot The Real Whacker’s owner Davy Mann is a lovely gentleman, who runs hostelries down my neck of the woods, so I’ll have a quandary over who to stick a few bob on this Friday.

Willie Mullins and Paul Townend will be aiming to gain back-to-back wins with Galopin de Champs (5/4) for the first time since they repeated the trick in 2020, with Al Boum Photo.

Nicky Henderson’s Constitution Hill would surely have cantered to second Champion Hurdle win if he had been fit for today’s race. It’s always a shame when a genuine star is missing from Prestbury Park.

The texts and messages will begin to drip in from this morning: “Any tips?”

“Buy the paper,” I’ll reply, where they can find just how bereft I am of acute insight. A few scraps should be thrown, just in case I do hit a bonanza, as I did through no fault of my own in 2022, when everything clicked for the first time in decades. I’ve always been waiting for a horse named Creosote to come along, so I could say it’s good over fences. But barring that never happening, we will have to pluck some other names that seem to ring true today, tomorrow, the next, and on Friday.

Olympians need to be en garde during swordplay

FENCING is getting its first mention in this column since that dispute with my neighbour I kept referencing last year (he eventually caved after I took up sunbathing in my birthday suit).

But this is the other fencing, the one where slim beekeepers wielding swords attack each other hoping to inflict beeps rather than puncture wounds. I know nothing about the rules or the scoring. I have a notion the blade is called a foil. Or possibly an epee.

If The Echo afforded me a researcher or I had the inclination to check it up on Wikipedia (always a danger because before you know it I will have followed a click trail that meanders deep into the causes of the 1812 Anglo-American War) I might tell you more about the sport, and whether performance-enhancing drugs are much of help when you are trying to avoid getting spiked — by a sabre (?) rather than a competitor nefariously slipping something into your rehydration bottle.

So what was the excuse when world champ Frenchwoman Ysaora Thibus had a positive test for ostarine? Intimate with her fellow fencing fiance.

The duel star secured a silver medal in the team event at the Tokyo Olympics and clinched the individual world title in 2022. However, her participation at her home Games this summer is now uncertain following a positive test for the banned substance at a World Cup event in January. She faces provisional suspension pending case resolution.

According to her legal team, the substance entered her system through her partner, Race Imboden (a fabulous name) a retired US fencer, who has claimed he took a product containing ostarine (why someone know longer competing would need to stimulate muscle growth is unexplained). Her representation purported last week that Thibus was inadvertently contaminated through the exchange of bodily fluids.A prong that went wrong.

It’s not the first time this defence has been offered to counter similar accusations. In 1998, US sprinter Dennis Mitchell’s attributed high testosterone levels to celebratory activities. including alcohol consumption and sexual intercourse. He claimed the night before the test he’d drunk five beers and had sex with his wife four times. It was her birthday, he said and “the lady deserved a treat”. Mystifyingly, this was rejected by the IAAF, who gave him a two-year ban.

In 2020, Canada’s Laurence Vincent Lapointe, a world champ in canoeing, successfully argued that ligandrol entered her system through her boyfriend. She later won two medals in Tokyo after authorities accepted her contamination defence.

French tennis player Richard Gasquet avoided suspension in 2009 despite testing positive for cocaine when he argued he inadvertently ingested the substance when kissing a woman at a nightclub.

So was Thibus juiced, in more ways than one? Who knows, but, moving swiftly from fencing to fences, we’ll obviously go for Elixir De Nutz in the Champion Chase tomorrow at 16/1.

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ALL Slam talk has been dropped for this weekend as the plucky underdogs from across the water denied us the chance of a historic back-to-back glory in the Six Nations in injury time.

Scotland’s loss to Italy suggested the Championship might have been wrapped up going into the final week-end, but the Tartans have a slight chance of lifting the trophy now if they can beat us for the first time in Lansdowne Road since 1998 (they did see us off in Croker in 2010).

Scotland can still win the Six Nations if they get a bonus point win against us; win by at least 39 points; deny us a bonus point, and England fail to win, or if they win, fail to win by 45 points and score no bonus point. So: complicated.

Scotland could also do their auld enemy a favour against their new enemy and beat us and then give the Sasanach a chance to beat with a bonus point in the final game on Saturday evening.

Italy could have been in the shake-up, which is possibly the best news to be taken from the whole competition. They should have three wins heading into their final fixture with a very beatable Wales.

Ireland are 1/10 to win the game and it is 25/1 England triumph in the tournament and 100/1 on Scotland. So some solace after giving up the late score to Marcus Smith.

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WE advised 15/2 on Liverpool and City to draw 1-1 this day last week. Just saying.

That result leaves the odds at 5/4 on City winning a fourth title in a row, 9/4 on Liverpool ing Man United on 20 titles and 11/4 on Arsenal ending a two-decade wait for a league crown.

And Spurs are now 4/6 for a top-four finish after thrashing Aston Villa 4-0 at Villa Park.

Luton can get out of the relegation zone either by beating Bournemouth away (5/1) tomorrow evening or Nottingham Forest, just above them, at home on Saturday.

There’s Champions League action this evening and the Gunners are 2/5 to qualify after a 1-0 reversal in Porto. Barca and Napoli drew 1-1 in Naples and it is 1/2 for the Catalans go through, while the Neapolitans are 2/1. Napoli have never beaten Barca in five attempts. Robert Lewandowski is 11/8 to score first, as he did in the first leg.

Borussia Dortmund and PSV are poised at 1-1, while Inter will carry a 1-0 lead to Atletico Madrid tomorrow evening. It is 13/1 on four home wins.

The Bet

WE’LL pick a horse for each day so: Found A Fifty in the second race today; Stay Away Fay in the Novice’s Chase tomorrow; Envoi Allen in the Ryanair Chase on Thursday, and Galopn Des Champs for the Gold Cup. A 300/1 four-timer.