Women describe losing half their family after being sexually abused by older cousins
Fiona Ferguson
Two women who were sexually abused by an older cousin have described how they have lost half of their family after not being believed when coming forward to report the offending.
One of the girls was also raped by a second cousin on one occasion, after the first accused told him to “have a go”. The women told the court how their lives were “ruined” by the first man’s abuse.
The 33-year-old first accused man, who can not be identified to protect the woman’s identity, pleaded guilty to rape, oral rape and sexual assault of the older girl and sexual assault of the younger girl at their grandparents’ Co Meath home, on dates between 2004 and 2008.
The man’s older brother (34) pleaded guilty to one count of rape and sexual assault of the older girl on one occasion on a date in 2005. Neither of the brothers have any previous convictions.
Mr Justice Tony Hunt said it was odd that people did not believe the women, especially after the accused men have pleaded guilty, and that there was not acceptance in the wider family.
He acknowledged that sometimes people have difficulty accepting horrible things but said he was not going to speculate.
He told the women that what happened was not their fault; they were young children, and they had no reason to feel ashamed. He commended the women’s strength.
Mr Justice Hunt adjourned sentencing until March 31st and remanded the men in custody.
An investigating garda told Carl Hanahoe BL, prosecuting, that prior to the offending starting when the 33-year-old accused man was aged 12 years and his first victim was aged 10, there had been a background of inappropriate behaviour by him towards the child while playing.
The garda said the woman recalled a rape occurring around this time after her cousin had called her into a bedroom. She said she was raped on a frequent basis by the accused from them on.
She said on one occasion, the second defendant was present and after the first defendant raped her, he told his brother: “Now you need to have a go.”
She said she was also forced to perform oral sex on the first defendant and raped while on holiday.
Her younger sister was sexually abused by the first man beginning when she was seven years old, and the accused man was 14 years old. This offending occurred between 2005 and 2008.
The court heard the second man was only charged in relation to one incident with one child. He was 14 years old at the time of his offence.
The younger injured party came forward to make a complaint in 2021, and the offending against her elder sister emerged in the course of that statement.
The first man was arrested and told gardaí he could not recall much but accepted the veracity of what the women said occurred. He pleaded guilty at the first opportunity.
The second man denied raping his cousin but accepted there was sexual .
In her victim impact statement, the older victim said her very first memory was being abused by her cousin. She said he had stolen her innocence from her.
She said the abuse left her feeling worthless, unlovable, ashamed and feeling unclean. She said she has struggled with trust and relationships her whole life. She suffers from panic attacks and has PTSD.
She said her younger sister is the only member of her family that remains in her life and is the only one who understands all she has lost as a result of the abuse.
She said the legal process had been difficult and dragged on. She said she did not wish to hear how brave or strong she was, as she felt broken and damaged beyond repair.
She said she was forever changed by the man’s actions and will have to learn to carry the effects of the abuse for the rest of her life.
She said she hoped that from today she would begin to heal and regain the life she should have had.
In her victim impact statement, her younger sister said she had been a happy-go-lucky child prior to the abuse but had been forever changed by the abuse and left with a lifetime of lasting damage. She said she had felt unclean and ashamed for 20 years and had been left with PTSD.
She said she did not think she would ever feel safe again and hoped that when this process was over, she might feel clean again, but would never be free. She said she has lost half of her family who do not believe her.
The first man read a letter of apology in court in which he said he was “truly sorry” and was sickened by how he made them feel and the innocence he had shattered. He referenced trauma he suffered as a child and said he had sought therapy.
He said he was sorry beyond words and told the women they were brave to come forward.
The garda agreed with John Hayden SC, defending the first man, that there had been no threats or physical violence. She agreed that the first man said he had access to pornographic images at a young age.
Mr Hayden asked the court to take into his client’s guilty plea, his age at the time of the offending, absence of other convictions and co-operation with gardaí. He said he had a good work record.
Dara Foynes SC, defending the second man, outlined that he had difficulty recalling the events at garda interview but told gardaí he had no reason to disbelieve her and was sorry for what happened.
She said her client was suffering quite badly with depression and asked the court to also take into his age at the time of the offending. She handed a psychological report into court.
She also handed in a letter of apology into court in which he outlined his remorse and wished his cousin well for the future.
She said he took full responsibility for the offending, co-operated with gardaí and asked the court to take into his age at the time, as well as his early guilty plea.
If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, you can call the national 24-hour Rape Crisis Helpline at 1800-77 8888, access text service and webchat options at drcc.ie/services/helpline/ or visit Rape Crisis Help.
